This blog’s been quiet for far too long! There are seasons when it feels good to hole up, live from a place of intuition –not getting too analytical or separated from direct experience. I spent summer sinking into safari tent living at Yellowstone Under Canvas. There were big Montana mountains to bike in, restore in, and a dock on Hebgen Lake for yoga. The best counter to winter ski life.
Add to that ski touring in the Tetons into June and pow days starting up in October. The season was starting off good and promising. I felt natural on my skis right from the start.
Good bye for now to Montana, I moved to the Tetons indefinitely, started up a relationship with JHMR and found myself in a slopeside condo at Teton Village. My first winter on the Freeride World Tour was about to start, my body was taking hits –flat landings, hidden rocks–and feeling strong and up for it! An impressive community of lady shredders; new, exciting lines; shooting photos; film opportunity with Salomon FreeskiTV… positivity kept falling into place.
So airing out of a chute into a treed-in landing, bouncing off a rock wall onto a downed tree trunk -days before my flight to Europe -was an abrupt surprise.
The week intended for touring the French Alps had me in pain getting in and out of bed. Sneezing was enough force to set me back in tears. I sat as a spectator at the FWT comp in Chamonix. This was not my plan.
But plans don’t serve to stay too attached to. And neither does ego. I keep hoping: tomorrow? next week I’ll be 100% right? But the message from those who have gone before with separated/broken ribs (the same really as far as pain and healing is concerned –cartilage/bone only difference) is that it just takes time. I want the process to speed up because I have a competition deadline. I keep hoping my healing can be unique… I meditate, my mind can go above pain, this was all an exaggerated diagnosis, right? It’s all muscular and massage can work that away, you’re whole again, oops sorry, we messed up. Go ahead and do what your mind has always known your body able to do.
I’ve never felt more NOT like an athlete while heading into a competition. It kills me to think that on comp day I won’t be at 100%. My legs and arms work so it seems like I should be fine to go. But your core is your entire center of balance and mine is tense on alarm protecting my ribs, and the entire left side of my body from feet to neck is knotted muscle. I can grit my teeth and fake the gross approximations of skiing, but the subtleties of movement –recoveries, absorption, can throw me. What a confusing mindset to enter competition with.
Vitamin I, a strong mind and a true understanding of what my body is up for on this given day is the game plan for tomorrow. In Fieberbrunn I was picking lines I’d ski at 100%, luckily I had time with the delay and move to Kappl to pay a bit more attention to what these different messages of pain mean. Some pain truly says “not ready”, some is just white noise, and some is your over-protective mother. And the extraneous pain can be bypassed with a solid mindset because skiing is something my body knows how to do. Read More